Is it ok for my bf to seek for advice on his ex-gf regarding our relationship?

May 28, 2014 | Author: | Posted in Relationship Building

Question by yhen: Is it ok for my bf to seek for advice on his ex-gf regarding our relationship?
Me and my bf are going steady for about 4 months now. Yes im happy with him. But the problem is, my bf is still in love with his ex. Though he did not admit it to me directly, but it is what i feel (instinct). We have already talked about this matter, and my bf said he is over with his x. But as we have some misunderstandings regarding our relationship he admitted that he consulted for an advice from his ex girlfriend… Is it proper for him to seek for an advice from her ex ???

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Answer by SrfrGrl

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Comments (23)

  1. gooseygander

    hell no?!!!!!!!!!

  2. Richard O

    yes its fine and you I think are a little a paranoid

  3. amylynn1976

    no.. sounds like he is still into his girlfriend i’d watch out for this guy if i were you!

  4. Vickeisy P

    WTF? no. has he no friends? geez

  5. LovesSex

    Big red flag……………… Better hope he ‘aint drillin’ her, sis!!!!
    :o )

  6. Puss in Boots

    He should not be discussing your relationship with his ex.
    I think he probably still loves her if he is still close to her.
    If your comfortable with it, then you have no problems.

    Tell him honstly how you feel if you are uncomfortable, and make sure you tell him clearly why you are upset.

  7. brittanyA

    in no way should you think your bf is still in love with his ex gf because he consults her on relationship issues. one of my friends does that all the time. its perfectly normal! in fact, it’s better! his ex can tell him things hes probably doing to annoy you because shes experienced it all before. your the one benefiting here not her.

  8. ♥Doc.Shell♥

    For NO reason should he ever go to his ex for advice on your relationship..that is just taboo!!! It just leave the door open for something to happen.

  9. ucantzme

    Sure! If he still has feelings for her.

  10. true_value5

    At this time, no!
    Why – he’s emotional still tied to her.

  11. dr.dunn

    so he’s talkign to her about your guys’s relationship problems?
    i think thats kind of messed up and something you guys should keep between yourselfs really.
    you need to talk to him about how your feeling.

  12. ~Monica~

    he’s just looking for excuses to see or talk to her. you should sit down and talk with him and let him know how you feel. if it really bugs you that he still talks to her, let him know how you feel and let him decide. if he decides not to be with you, it will be good for you to know now than later in the future. good luck!

  13. Mutyaa Buena

    err.. i dun think so. coz it might end up like she say the ‘wrong things’… n he might fall back for her because during that PERIOD OF TIME .. he is upset wif u. so ya.

  14. vickytoria89

    I guess it shows that he wants you and him to work out since he is seeking help, but maybe an ex-girlfriend isn’t the right place for him to seek that help. I myself have been in a similar situation. I talked to him about it and it’s all cool now

  15. Sean

    personally i think so. look at it from a business point of view. he messed up on one sale and now he is trying to figure out what he did wrong and seek advice from the person who would know best and tell him how he screwed up. but always be careful. if you think he is in love ask his ex how he is. women have this girl power thing when it comes to guys as long as they arent fighting over one guy they usually can be useful.

  16. jayglv

    no b/c he doesn’t know if she is giving him advice to help him or break yall up….u need to let him know how u feel about him seeking advise from his ex….that is just not right….especially when u think that he may still be in love with her….trust your instinct…..and cover your own behind if you know what i mean….

  17. Dat Gurl_Shell Pooh

    Absolutely NOT!!

  18. Ninny999

    It’s absolutely not ok. If he wanted to share relationship discussions with her, he should be going out with her. This breaches trust with you and I’m sure you don’t want her knowing intimate details of your relationship.He is in a different relationship now with different dynamics. He is only playing with fire by confiding in her. I would be very up front with your feelings on this.


    No, it isn’t healthy for him to be asking her anything when it comes to your relationship, excepting when he ask her to your wedding.

    You need to let him get past his ex and quit checking on him in that area; you are too focused on that at not on what you have together.

    If you would give the time to growing as a couple that you give to figuring him out in this regard, you would have one amazing happy tomorrow. Don’t keep him living in his past and pushing him toward her. If you give your whole self to this, he isn’t going to be entertaining thoughts of her.

  20. improbable.fiction

    Normally I would say no. The worst people to go to for relationship advice are friends or exes; it can foster distrust and division between both you and your friends.


    As he has already gone to her for advice, I would forgive those first few incidents. There is no point in hashing over things already done — that could only hurt you both. But you might inform him that you are uncomfortable with him receiving relationship advice from his ex in the future.

    That would be my advice; which can only be counted for my opinion. Whether or not you take it, is your decision. :)

  21. no1_countrychick

    Well, I wouldn’t like it if it were me. Why would he be visiting with her for any reason? If he is your boyfriend then you should be the one that he comes to when it’s Your relationship that it’s about afterall. His ex should not be in the picture, But thats just my opinon.

  22. Brian A

    No, not at all

  23. Jam Jam

    well, you have to trust him, if you really want it to work out, your cant be all “i dont want you talking to her everagain” he’lll just freak out and think your trying to control him. but dont get me wrong, if you know for a fact that him and his x are the kind of people that “will always be a couple” then you have to keep an close eye but dont make it noticeable. unless you know for-sure he NOT the type to, you know (2-time), then dont worry about it.

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