Q&A: I need some advice about starting a new relationship!?

May 23, 2014 | Author: | Posted in Relationship Building

Question by catsmom2gr_el06: I need some advice about starting a new relationship!?
I was in a long term relationship but it ended bad. Now I have met someone new and really like him. We spend as much time together as we can, but he has his daughter on the weekends and he asked me to meet her once but I thought it was too soon. Since then he hasn’t asked. When I spend the night with him he always tells me that he misses me the next day and wants me to stay all the time but I can’t. He said something about us moving in together but hasn’t mentioned it again. He really confuses me and I don’t know how to ask him about these things-I’m scared! One more thing—this is the biggie!! In the “heat of the moment” he told me he loved me but I didn’t say anything back–I just acted like I didn’t hear him. What was the right thing to do? I thought about asking him about it the next day but I just couldn’t get the words out! I got so comfortable in my last relationship that I forgot what it was like to start over with someone new!!! I really need some advice!!

Best answer:

Answer by smtilley
Relax. Go as fast as you wish to go. Say you love someone when it is right for you and there is no need to discuss it before hand. Don’t feel that you need to discuss every detail of the blossoming love. When you are ready to meet his daughter let him know. Move in if you want but only when you are ready. Why are you waiting for him to dictate everything about this wonderful new relationship? Do it on your terms and in your own time.

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Comments (5)

  1. David W

    Talk. That’s the advice. Talk to him and share your wants and desires. Ask him about his too!

    “You mentioned at one point moving in together. Do you still think it’s a good idea?”

    Remember that came from him so he should be able to elaborate.

    You know that the previous relationship likely failed due to communcation problems right?


    It seems to me that he really likes you & it appears that you are being negative so many times with him.

    If you really like your relationship & want to continue, I suggest that you talk to him & mention & discuss all the things that you have stated here.

    Never ignore comments no matter how good or bad, these issues must be cleared so that there is no seed of doubt because little seeds get planted & grow big.

    If you love him, tell him & make him feel good.

    Good luck with your relationship.

  3. emesumau

    How long have you been seeing this guy? If not for long then he is moving way to fast and i would worry that he might be the deppendant type. The best thing you can do is be completely honest with him about how you feel. If your not comfortable then ask him to slow down a bit as you are finding it hard to catch up. Talking to someone new is hard but if you can both do it then it starts a great relationship and if he has a problem with anything then hes not worth it. Dont be scared, hurt will always come and go and if you dont expeience it sometimes then you will never experience true love. With the I love you thing, you have full right not to say it back till your ready, if he says it again then say thankyou, and that you like him alot and you are looking forward to saying it back but you want to make sure you say it right the first time. Oh an dont meet his kid yet, wait till you no where your relationship is going.

  4. michael m

    it sounds like to me your’e thinking cautiously, good for you and his daughter…..i think you got the right idea, just go with what feels comfortable to you!…there’s definetly no need to rush things….i dont want to speculate or anything, but he might be trying to ” find a supporting mother”….most likely he doesn’t know that he’s doing it, it’s wanna those subconscious things….only time will telll……..good luck

  5. itry007

    You need to have an honest talk with him quickly and apologize for coming off as aloof. Thank him for telling you he loved you and let him know you’re just a little scared because of the last relationship. If this guy means something to you, vow to start expressing your feelings as they come up. When he tells you he loves you, look him straight in the eye, whether you’re ready to say it back or not. Don’t pretend to disregard it. What you’re going through is normal, but you can choose to communicate. It’s the wise thing to do.

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