What is the base of a healthy relationship?

September 20, 2012 | Author: | Posted in Relationship Building
Relationship
by Sanctu

Question by : What is the base of a healthy relationship?
How do you know when you’re in a healthy relationship? What must a relationship need to know it’s on stable grounds?
What if we have all that but she is 5 years younger then me and is not very motivated in life right now? She is 18 I am 23. She is slightly depressed too. By her not being very motivated should I be patient to wait to see if she will get more motivated?

Best answer:

Answer by Morgan
you need to trust each other and be comfortable enough to tell one another anything

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Comments (10)

  1. Hello

    honesty, trust, loyalty, comfortable.

  2. Luke

    trust and frequent communication.

  3. carleigh

    Trust! You need to trust each other. And you need to have fun. What’s the point of being with someone if you’re not having any fun?! :D

  4. Ryan

    you trust each other, respect each other’s privacy, share many close moments, having a deep understanding for one another, are not afraid to introduce each other to friends/family in normal circumstances, and let each other feel special. ideally, all of these would be in a relationship, and it would definitely be a healthy one.

  5. Remo

    Communication, general happiness, honesty, a solid friendship to fall back on.

  6. Jasmine

    Well , there are a lot. Trust. Honesty. and most of all balance.

    If your missing any of those I would consider talking to your partner about it.

    Good luck :)

  7. edie

    i would say that you have something in common, trust, faithfullness understanding, respect. then you are able to communcate with each other. if you have differences you are able to discuss them and try to resolve them without walking away. another thing you are jealous of each other. when you see them talking to another woman or man you are going to get all bent out of shape. you are not being selfish and you have a open mind. these are some of the things that are important in a relationship as you go along i’m sure you will find other s and treat them with logic.

  8. Kit

    She’s not very motivated with what? Is she working on her depression? There’s a quote that goes something like “If someone makes you miserable more than they make you happy, it doesnt mater ow much you love them, you need to let them go”. Everyone here did a great job of summing up the base of a healthy relationship. If you love her, she loves you, and getting through this time in her life with her is worth it to be with her. Then yes. Id say be patient, and help her through it, since your already understanding and obviously care for her. If it is affecting you and making you unhappy, think about yourself. If she would be just fine without you (not saying she would be) what would you do to make you happy? I hope she doesn’t take you for granted, you seam like a really great person.

    as far as knowing if your in a healthy relationship or not, think about these. Do you make each other happy? Do you help each other to grow into stronger, better people? Do you get along well and bring out the best in the other? Help each other make the right choice? They haven’t become he only focus in your life, because its bad if they do. If you complete each other in a positive way and improve each others life, that’s a healthy relationship.

  9. charlie

    TRUST??? How can there b trust if there is no love. And that you compliment each other. One can’t do without the other. Without love, the relationship has no bases. This is why she is not motivated.

  10. Zach

    Get ready to read. I’m gonna go ahead and elaborate a small part of my thoughts on this subject, because something like this can’t be explained or answered in one measly sentence.

    The ‘healthy relationship’ question is difficult to answer, because contrary to what all of the quacks like to say, it’s a preference-based deal and is definitely NOT a universal thing. Sure, trust, friendship, loyalty, and all that other stuff is good… but that’s also just scratching the surface of what a real relationship can look like. It’s a default answer everyone will give you, and ultimately won’t help you much.

    Basically, if you’re out asking the internet and its denizens what a healthy relationship should be simply because you’re worried about your own in even the slightest way, there might be something wrong.

    I gotta say though,18 year old girls are typically fickle as almighty hell. I don’t care what anyone says, until both parties are at least in their mid-twenties, age does actually make a difference to a greater degree than most want to admit. You’re 23, and you’re getting close to that ‘marriageable’ age where you’re gonna start wanting shit to be stable and reliable, and you’ll want a girl that is roughly the same way… assuming you’re that kinda guy and want a stable, realistic, enjoyable life. It sounds like she’s having some problems that she needs to come to terms with, or it might strain on your relationship.

    And for my last bit of money on your specific situation: if she is not ‘motivated’, and it’s what my definition of not being motivated means, that’s a pretty bad thing. Waiting for unmotivated people to get motivated is about as enjoyable as gouging your eyes out with rusty kitchen utensils, because simply speaking, it’s going to eat at you the entire time she’s acting this way. It also usually takes forever, because once you fall into that ‘slump’, it’s typically a bitch to get out of.

    All of the above is based on the little you have provided about your situation, though, so don’t take everything to heart if you think I’m full of it. Just consider what’s been said.

    Now, about that ‘healthy relationship’ question, I guess a sort of ‘general’ response might be helpful if I elaborate with more than just a few words.

    -Trust, obviously. Just remember that people freaking LIE, and don’t feel like the earth just exploded because she might have had a little (or even big) secret, or told you something that wasn’t entirely true, or whatever. It’s human nature. Learn to forgive and forget. But yes, a majority of trusting one another is good.

    -Loyalty, because no one likes cheaters and users… except for people in open relationships. Also, you guys are technically adults now, so don’t listen to people that say ‘sex isn’t a big deal in a good relationship’. That’s a hock of bullshit, because good sex makes things WAY better if you’re doing it for the right reasons.

    -Friendship, because, no matter what anyone says, we all get bored of that mushy kiss-kiss shit sometimes, and would just like to live it up and have a good time together instead of always talking in goo-goo voices and making baby faces at each other.

    -Some common ground, because it’s pretty awesome to be able to relate in many different areas.

    -Some uncommon ground, largely overlooked, but important just as much if not more so than the commonalities, because this way you can learn and grow from each other, and make up for each others strengths and short-comings. The only issue here is that you need to be willing to step out of that ‘comfort zone’ and embrace the stuff your other finds interesting, even if you normally wouldn’t, or you might as well call them alien and eject them from your planet. You don’t have to like what she likes, but at least give it a shot, and try to be a involved to some loose extent even if you can’t ‘like’ it. Same goes for your partner.

    There’s a TON of other shit to account for, but these are the typical answers you’ll get from anyone with half of a brain. Just remember that a GOOD relationship is just the same as any other objective topic: it all comes down to what you prefer. Where one person enjoys a relationship that the two involved are almost always together, another person might be looking for something where they see less of each other so both parties can still experience a large part of the world without that strong other influence.

    Just figure out what you want, and you should be able to answer the rest of the question for yourself. I know I can’t, and neither can anyone else here.

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